Confessions of a Drama Mama

For those of you who have been married or have been with your significant others for a long time, how are your weekends like?

For us, it’s been mostly stay home, or I work, or he goes for sitar, or I go to the gym. Hardly coupley, I feel.

Just now as I was having some ha gao alone (because I was having lunch alone because I had to work and had no kakis for lunch), I suddenly thought about the days when I used to go for dim sum with friends or even ex boyfriends. When we would have something to look forward to as the weekend approached. Not just ‘the weekend’ but actual events and actual activities.

I said to Max that we hardly do that. He says ‘we do have events what. We had housewarming yesterday with family.’ Ya, but that’s different. That’s an event, but it’s not really something that we do OUT of the house, right? Unless you count standing at the corridor saying goodbye to guests.

Things like high tea on Saturdays and korean bbq dinners on Sundays. Where did those days go?

Max says ‘we do eat out what. We eat out almost every weekend. At the restaurants near our house or at Tiong Bahru’. But to me it’s really like planning to go somewhere, and not just eating where you happen to be. Not that there is anything wrong with going where the wind blows, but sometimes I’d just like to have something to look forward to. It becomes like a whole outing by itself, you know?

Maybe I’m also to blame for our entry into boringdom cos I always don’t see the point in paying a lot of money for something that we can get at a fraction of the price at a hawker centre.

But anyway, as a start, this coming Saturday, we will go for dim sum at RedStar. If you know of anywhere that’s interesting, and hopefully not too expensive, please leave a comment ok?

Oh and if anyone is interested, there’s a shop called Wine Wise near our house and it’s a pretty neat after dinner place to have good and not expensive wine.

Max and I are both very proud and stubborn people. And one common trait of proud and stubborn people is that they have great difficulty admitting fault and apologising.

So an idea came to me suddenly. We recently bought 2 coffee cups, the old fashioned kopi tiam kind. Beigey coloured with a really obiang green flower, plus matching saucer kind. All you 70s kids would know.

So whenever either of us needs to apologise but is held back by pride, we’ll make coffee for both in those cups. Pretty innovative I think. Saying sorry without having to say sorry. But hey, to each his own.

I bought a radio from Yahoo Auctions recently. Something like $5. One of those little portable ones. I put it in my bathroom (I like to shower with music) and discovered that the volume only worked from level 3 onwards. And loud volumes in enclosed spaces, not really nice.

So I post a comment for the seller and said that while I was happy with her quick transaction, I thought she was not fully honest when it came to describing the product. I checked back for a couple of days, expecting a reply but there was none. I don’t know why I decided to look at it again and saw that she had offered me a refund and that ‘it did not bother her when she used the radio’. That’s beside the point, right?

Normally I wouldn’t bother about $5. But I decided to accept it anyway because if she had added that portion about the volume not really working, it would have affected my decision to buy. So I write and I say thanks and I really appreciate it bla bla, and she says ‘You are asking for a refund after one month of usage?’

My reply (super pissed!!!)

It can hardly be called one month of ‘usage’, because I hardly used it
after discovering it only works on level 3. Level 3 gives me a headache
when I use it in an enclosed area such as the bathroom.

I
checked a few days after posting the comment and there was no reply and
I did not check again until recently, when I saw your offer.

It does not matter to me because it is such a small amount
and I will probably end up donating the radio to the Salvation Army or
something. The only reason why I accepted your offer of a refund is
because I am upset that you were not fully honest when describing the
item. One would assume that there is nothing wrong with an item unless
otherwise specified.

It’s not worth our time arguing over such a small sum. I will
take it as a lesson learnt and be sure to ask even the obvious
questions in future.

Regards
Adora

So now you know. Whatever you buy, make sure you ask all sorts of questions. Don’t take for granted that people will be honest.

I was enjoying my pedicure then as my toenails were drying I heard a man’s voice beside me. As in behind the privacy curtain that had been drawn to give me some privacy.

I don’t remember much of the conversation but it was definitely A MAN having a pedicure, not just one accompanying his wife/girlfriend. And he wasn’t complaining either. The curtain only allowed me to see a big black foot and I could only imagine what he looked like. Just curious, you know.

Lately there’ve been articles about men going for facials and wearing make up (my ex boss wore foundation. An ex colleague told me that when she gave him tissue to wipe his sweat, the tissue turned a creamy colour. She laughed so much and now she’s his wife). But I kinda never thought one of THEM would turn up next to me.

Not that I’m against metrosexuals but it gets a bit too much when they do more than we do. He (black foot) had a manicure AND a pedicure! Man, I really don’t know what to think. I don’t even do manicures. Brings a whole new meaning to the word MANicure.

Finally got to look at him when I was paying. Looked just over 20, Indian guy (thus black foot), maybe student, maybe just out of school… All I can say is that if this is what Singaporean girls are supposed to be hot about, these metrosexual men, then are you single gals out there in for shit.

I’ve been thinking about some misconceptions people have had
of me. It’s got me thinking about why they do that and think that. Is it cos of
how I carry myself? Of how I speak and how I dress? Anyway, these are quite
interesting revealations to me

I’m a party animal
I can count off the number of times I’ve been to a "place that requires a
drinking licence, where people go to drink and dance and meet people" with
one hand. I categorize them this way because it includes ALL pubs, clubs,
discos and whatever you want to call them because I have been to THAT few.

My virgin experience was with Julia. I still remember her saying ‘how can you
not like it? Everyone likes it!’. We went to some place at Mohd Sultan. You
remember, Ju? It was a few units away from Mdm Wong. The only Mdm Wong I know
is my sewing teacher from Sec 1.

So ya. I don’t like it. People always say "but you look like the kind who
would go clubbing every week leh!". Well they’re wrong. I don’t like it,
and I really don’t feel the need to make any excuses anymore. I just don’t want
to. So just stop asking ok? Never saw the need to, never will. Don’t like
dancing, don’t drink, don’t smoke, so not interested.

On my 20th birthday Ken, Rachel, Huifen and Eliss brought me somewhere also. I
remembered thinking ‘the more I drink, the less inhibited I will be, the more I
will dance, the faster time will fly, and the faster I can go home’.

I drive like a maniac
Actually I’m a really careful driver. I’m a bad parker though. I hate parallel
parking. If the only lot left is a parallel one, I’d rather drive around in the
hope of a normal one.

Actually, I’m a scardey cat driver. I don’t feel confident driving at all. I actually pray before I release the handbrake each time.

And my sense of direction? Fantastico. Sandra can vouch for it. We once got lost on the PIE looking for Adam Road hawker centre. At 3am. Not so fun. Another time we got lost trying to find an entrance to the Botanic Gardens. And we came FROM another entrance of the Botanic Gardens. In the end we went all the way to Far East Plaza, past Wheelock place, and turned back via Gleneagles. Every ride with me is an adventure.

I enjoy booze
Actually I’m allergic. So’s my dad. So’s my brother I think. I hate the smell
of beer. Especially when it’s on the floor with peanuts after having been in
someone’s stomach.

But having said that, France has taught me to enjoy an occasional wine

I’m high maintenance
Actually I don’t ask for fancy dinners or flowers. If I had to buy a car I
would buy a Kelisa cos it’s small and cheap. I don’t want to live in a condo.
Shopping? It always comes from my own pocket. I’m happy eating home everyday.

OK OK I will admit. Maybe I’m just boring.

I’m a social animal
Actually I really hate socialising. I don’t like talking to new people. Which
is ironic, considering my job. But I so don’t like making small talk and being interested in strangers’ lives, or listen to them brag about how they’ve travelled to the Gaza Strip or climbed Everest. Twice. Without oxygen. Not interested la. If it were my friends, I’d be ‘Wah…. happening leh you!’ but strangers, nah.

I’d really rather spend all my time with Max (I
think I heard him gasp), at home, just relaking in one corner. Not even
necessarily together. Just knowing that we’re in the same vicinity is good
enough.

I’m a spendthrift
Actually not really. Here comes my famous Levi’s jeans story. My mother told me
when I was 12 "If you want money for jeans, I will give you $20. But you
want Levi’s jeans, which will cost 5 times more, but still serve the same
purpose. So I will give you $20 for jeans and you pay the rest if you want
Levi’s". My father bought me the Levi’s in the end but that’s beside the
point. She taught me that everything had a price and money isn’t easy to come
by.

Yes I donate money to Amore for exercise classes and facials, and I have a
pedicure package, but I justify that by pampering myself for me time. Contrary
to common belief, I don’t shop all that much. I don’t remember a time (OK,
maybe once. Or twice. Not counting Bangkok. But if I shop in Bangkok it shows
that I know the value of money right?) that I’ve come home with bags and bags
of stuff.

I’m intelligent

This one is the best. I’m not, you know. I wonder why people think I am. By Singaporean standards, I’m quite an average student. A, B, B, C for PSLE. 197 for aggregate score. Got sent to Normal stream. But then bucked up a bit and hit the Express Train. Then A2 for English, B3 for Bio and a string of Cs and Ds and of course F9 for Chinese for O Levels. Then took A Levels at a private school, got terrible grades, got spat upon by NUS and snorted at by NTU, had no money to go overseas, so went backwards to Poly. Turned out to be one of my best decisions in life by the way.

So far, by Singaporean standards, quite a failure.

Finally got accepted by Curtin cos my grades in Poly were really not half bad. Not so bad at Curtin either. Only failed one subject, and that was partly cos I didn’t make the attendance mark. So, ok la. Not so stupid, but I don’t think the Mensa benchmark would be set based on me any time soon.

I’m a generous person

I won’t donate to NUS/NTU tin cans. I don’t see the point donating to people who think I’m not good enough for them. But when I’m not a stingy fart, I give my fair share of spare chance to street buskers and tin cans.

You know those moments when someone somewhere makes you very angry and you somehow take it because you’re stunned for the moment but 2 minutes later, the perfect rebuttal hits you? And then you think "Aiyah, if only I had thought of it just now! Tsk!… Never mind, next time."

For the first time in my life, tonight my perfect rebuttal came to me exactly when I needed it. And the best part was, I didn’t even have to rehearse my line! It just came! I’m still shocked.

On the train earlier, I got up when I was approaching my stop. It was rather crowded. As in have to push through people to get to the door but not squeeze until can feel other people’s breath kind of crowded.

So I got up, and a very typical auntie immediately started making her way towards my seat and told her friend ‘Eh! Woo oei zheh leh!’ (Hey! There’s a seat there!). But she was coming towards me. i.e. forcing me to gostan, keblakang pusing, and use the other exit, right?

So I said to her (in hokkien but it’s too challenging to spell) ‘Can let me out first or not?’. And she got a shock. Like she never expected anyone to have an opinion. She retreated anyway without a fight but she regained her composure quickly and told her friend (also in hokkien. this whole exchange was in hokkien) ‘wah, better not sit la. got people don’t want me to sit’

By this time I had made my way to be just at the door, where she was. And I said ‘Well, if you don’t let me out, how are you going to get in to sit?’. SHE DIAM DIAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe she thought I was Malay and couldn’t speak hokkien. Maybe she thought I couldn’t hear her through my earphones. But in any case, I WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn’t see but I hope some people on the train were smiling to themselves.

Score:

Old auntie with horrible typical auntie maroon blouse and black pants, long toenails and long hair that can’t all be tied up, yellowish skin and dunno what spots on the face and smell of 1 day old sweat : ZERO

Young auntie with wooden rice bucket in big red plastic bag: ONE!!!!!!!

(I’m the young auntie by the way).

There was a letter in today’s ST Forum. Someone, presumably a teacher (I didn’t really notice), wrote about how her two friends, also teachers, could have gotten rejected when they applied to be school counsellors when they were holders of a Masters degree.

I find that disturbing. How does having a Masters degree make you a better person? (BTW according to Max, Masters degree and MBA are different. I wouldn’t know. I only got normal degree lor. And from distance learning lor. Low class one. No honours or whatever shit. And worse! Part time one!)

The fact that one can think that, already discounts one’s character.

To state the obvious, the writer seems to think that having a Masters degree automatically qualifies one as a good counsellor. Why there is the connection, I don’t know.

If the arguement is that better education qualifications makes one a better candidate for ANYTHING then why are there different types of Masters degrees? Oh sorry, ‘disciplines’. Not types. Cannot talk like low class Singaporean.

Simply put, would a person who has a Masters of Accounting be able to be a good Botanist? A good writer? Artist?

I’m really shaking my head here. It’s so unbelievable to think that people with such high educational qualifications (or by Singaporean standards, "CLEVER"), can be so shallow.