Confessions of a Drama Mama

IKEA got sale now, did you know? It’s in the papers, it’s on the radio, it’s on TV but whatever. Because of the sale, all of us had to put on the yellow sale t-shirt. It’s a very dangerous thing, that yellow t-shirt. En route from office to restaurant to buy lunch, you could probably get stopped about 8 times, half of which for questions that you probably can’t answer.

Our part-timers kinda played us out cos all 3 of them kena that army recall thing. You know, that kind where they flash "Treasure Chest" or "Silver Coin" or "Blinking Idiot" on TV and your boyfriend/husband has to drop whatever he’s doing and rush back to camp.

So because we were 3 people short, we had to pump our own balloons and give them out. Which was no problem at all. Sometimes mindless jobs can be quite fun. While walking around and giving balloons, I encountered Madam Mop.

Madam Mop (MM) : Excuse me, do you have those pails?

IKEA balloon part time part-timer (Adora/A) : What kind of pails?

MM : Those kind to mop the floor one

A : I don’t believe we have those kind of pails but we do have pails upstairs at the kitchens department

MM : I go upstairs, they ask me to come downstairs. I go downstairs they ask me to come upstairs. I come here, I’m smiling, I come down, I’m smiling. Now I’m not smiling anymore. Where are your pails?!

A : We don’t have any pails for mopping floors (if you use a plastic wastepaper basket to hold water to mop the floor, what can I do if you want to call it a mop-floor pail?)

MM : You better ask them to teach you things

(At this point I’m damn pissed, but when I’m damn pissed, I’m usually damn good at being sarcastic. So I put on a very angelic face)

A : Ask who?

MM : Ask your management! To teach you things! You have to know what kind of products you have!

Note: I do agree with her to a certain extent. But when there are 6,500 products in the store, can you expect people to remember all 6,500 of them? Come on, if that’s possible then why do people misplace things IN THEIR OWN HOME all the time?

I don’t remember what I said to her but an angelic face with a bunch of balloons really helped

MM : I have bought a pail here before! You’re forcing me to write a complaint letter!

A : But we really don’t have mopping pails, ma’am.

She stomps off. So just case I was wrong, I checked with 2 people who had a total of 50 years working experience in IKEA. Do we or do we not have pails for mops in IKEA? And the final answer is no, we have never had them. The closest would be that she either bought them from Cold Storage when we were in Katong, or Home Fix-it which is part of the IKEA building, but not part of the store. Which makes her a liar. I hate liars.

Come to think of it, it makes sense doesn’t it. IKEA is from Sweden, the products are designed in Sweden, and do Swedes MOP their floors? I really think it’s only an Asian thing huh?

Anyway the founder is not my grandfather and I have no say in anything so I cannot influence them to design mop pails. But just pretending that I do. Fair enough, if they can design chopsticks, why not pails for mops right? How many other people around the world use chopsticks and how many other people use mops?

So if we design pails for mops, and the only market is Asia, we wouldn’t produce all that many, would we? And by doing that, the cost of production goes up because volume is low, which means the final selling price will be high too. Which means it could probably be $5. For a pail that you can buy at your neighbourhood shop for $1. So that would mean, IKEA would be stuck with thousands of $5 pails that no one would want to buy.

So even if the founder was my sugar daddy, and I could flutter my eyelashes at him to influence anything, I would still say no to mop pails.

What I don’t understand is how and why some people think they are better than others just because ‘the others’ are wearing a uniform. The guy who flies the plane you’re on wears a uniform, does that make him any lesser of a person than you? If you think about it, he probably earns twice you’re earning and works half the hours.

Jamie Oliver has his own swanky restaurant doesn’t he? If he’s cooking, he’s got an apron on, and probably a chef hat. And he’s FAMOUS. AND rich.

Who’s the better person now?

Oh ok, so if you think these guys not to be looked down upon, do you think the same of the stewardess who serves you coffee and tea? She’s to be looked down upon because she’s ONLY an air-bound waitress right? Or the waiters that take your orders in the restaurant? See where you’re double standarded?

I know there are some horrible service staff out there (hey I’ve gotten my fair share of meanies), but generally I think most of them are nice. And even if they’re not, try to give them a break la. YOU try standing for 12 hours in heels. Do you think you’d have a smile on your face at the end of the day?

"But I pay for my meal, so I should get good service". Good service yes, but that doesn’t mean your measly $50 entitles you to treat a fellow human being like shit.

Look into the mirror before you start treating other people like dirt. You wouldn’t like to be on the receiving end.

I remember the times when I used to celebrate Valentine’s Day and eat at Jack’s Place and receive a red rose. Super cliche but I must have been 16 or so and awkward though it may have been, it was nice somewhat.

This year Max and I didn’t plan anything but we knew we didn’t want to spend a bomb to eat out with the rest of Singapore so I decided to cook at home. The plan was to make broccoli soup and for the main course, ribs with grilled veg.

While I was planning on 13 Feb, Max got an sms from a guy he had met on the plane ride back to Singapore. Said he was getting married and invited Max to attend his ROM solemnisation. 7-730pm. 1. I wasn’t invited 2. There was no makan provided 3. He hardly knows the guy! 4. It’s Valentine’s Day for crying out loud.

Not that I’m big on Valentine’s Day. I just think that it’s terribly selfish for one to get married on a day like Valentine’s Day. Or Christmas Day. Or New Year’s Day. I mean, ok fine, it’s nice and romantic and all and for X’mas and NY, it’s a public holiday so it’s convenient.

BUT look on the flip side - do you really think you’re being fair in asking people to celebrate A special day with you as YOUR special day? Do you not think other couples would like to celebrate Valentine’s Day in their own way? Or Christmas or New Year’s for that matter.

By the way, we decided that people who say ‘everyday should be Valentine’s Day’ do not necessarily mean they treat their significant others to romantic gestures everyday, but that Valentine’s Day is just like every other day, and they can just act normally and unromantically.

So anyway, we had our broccoli and ribs. We had a nice time with the flowers Max brought for me, and the candles I bought from IKEA. Now Max is sleeping. Hmm. I wonder why he’s so tired when it was me who cooked for 3 hours. Anyway, happy lovers day to all!

I’m going to say something shocking so brace yourself.

For those of you who know me, I’m a regular potato (or banana as some of you term it). I really struggle to hold a proper conversation in Mandarin, and even when I need to order food, I have to rehearse my order a few times first.

That ain’t the shocking part.

Here it comes.

My physiotherapist, who is just as potato (she’s Malaysian Chinese so she speaks Malay fluently and isn’t all too confident in Mandarin, but at least she has a valid reason. I don’t. Anyway), has been bitten by the Korean bug. For the past few months, she’s been raving about this Korean series to me, and I finally gave in and borrowed her DVDs.

Not that I look down on Asian movies but like many other potatoes, I generally swoop all of them in the same category - predictable storylines with humble, nice individuals who have to live a harsh life, fight their way to the top, everybody cries in the end, good guys win, bad guys die etc etc. So I never really gave them a chance (the shows, not the people).

I am now going to talk about the series and I will give away the ending so don’t read if you intend to watch.

Now THIS is the shocking part: I really liked it. 

"My name is Kim Sam Soon" is a 16-part series basically about a not so good looking 30 year old lady who’s a patissiere (which contributes to her size), and a bit of a loser, and she falls in love with Mr Bachelor of the year, owner of a restaurant and son of owner of big hotel chain. Throw in long time pretty ex girlfriend who had to unexpectedly had to leave him because of Cancer (you somehow just can’t get away from the typicals huh?) and her handsome doctor who falls in love with her and is super nice and sweet to her. The ex girlfriend returns and that’s when everything gets messy.

So these are the 4 main characters. The show progresses rather well and by the 3rd disc I’m hooked and I just HAVE TO watch another one to know what’s going to happen. What I like about it is that the ending, though predictable, is not quite as predictable because:

1. The handsome guy does not end up with chio chick
2. The fat girl does not lose weight and end up being chio
3. The handsome guy’s mother still refuses to let them marry, so no fairytale ending (so typical to see final episodes with the girl in wedding gown and everyone happy and smiling)
4. The doctor still waits for the chio girl and she finally accepts him so it’s not like he gives up and she’s the most poor thing thing in the end (final episodes also like to end with one poor thing fella crying in the corner with messy hair)

OK what am I getting at? Why do I like this show so much? I think it’s cos the show portrays life well. Daily living, rather than movie life. And maybe also cos of the handsome guy.

He starts off as not the sweetest guy to her. He yells at her, he threatens her, he’s quite a jerk actually. We’re to believe that it’s cos he misses the ex girlfriend. Yeah whatever. He’s good looking so he can get away with anything. In the end he realises that he loves the fat girl and he’s really sweet to her finally.

So what AM I saying? How come I like this guy instead of the handsome doctor?

This is the guy that I like. He’s cute, but he looks so young that I almost feel like a pedophile. Truthfully, the photos don’t do him justice.

And this is the doctor. Who’s apparently supposed to be better looking.

I really think it’s cos girls all want a guy to be sweet to them. So why not the handsome doctor? Because I think secretly, we also want to be abused. OK OK, that came out wrong. We want a bad boy, a tough guy, the rebel. It’s the ATTITUDE, man, the attitude. Sweet guys are nice but bad boys are challenging. Right?

Don’t agree if you don’t want to. I’m just saying that’s what I think.

I love you, Max.

Man, CNY is not even here yet and I’ve already eaten my share of love letters and bak kwa. And that’s just in the office.

Which CNY snack will you attack non-stop every year? I’m just curious. Share la.

Mine is, without a doubt, bak kwa. Esp the thin thin kind with chao tar edges. Every time I go visiting, I will geh geh make small talk and every once in a while, slowly inch towards the bak kwa, each time telling myself ‘OK, enough, last one’.

I remember that as a child, I would put slices of bak kwa in bread and eat. Heaven….

And kueh lapis too

As in a big sale of bikinis, not a sale of big bikinis.

Got see in the papers? The sun is back out and the next few months will be hot, hot, hot! So why not be hot, hot, hot at the beach too!

Check out all these brand new, never washed, never worn bikinis. All bikinis and bottoms are the ‘tie-tie’ kind as shown in pic. Sizes stated clearly. As a rough gague, I’m a 34B and I can wear either. I go for S for bottom though; my waist is 27.

Because they all come in sets, I’m sorry you cannot mix and match, or buy just top, or just bottom.

Check out my photo album labelled "bikinis". All priced at $19,95. Price is per set and includes postage.

Eh seriously, no joke, I’m selling. Check out the album! Can email me at junliat@gmail.com or post a comment if you want more info.

I’m not always a bitch la even though I sometimes sound like one. I remember good stuff too. And I remember little random acts of kindness as well.

January 2002: My stint in Perth. The same time I got dumped by J. I miscalculated my stay at the hostel and my flights. I bumped into Luvin, whom I had not seen in over 10 years, and he offered me a place to stay on my last night. He brought me around, drove me back to school cos I thought I had lost my wallet, and finally to the airport as well. I am eternally grateful.

February 2005: I was doing a small project for IKEA and I was sitting at the Customer Service area when Alvin came up to me and gave me a drink coupon. It was just a nice thought.

December 2004: Roger, a guy I met at New York airport, waiting for the connecting flight to Montreal. The flight was brought forward and I wanted to call Max to let him know but my phone didn’t work. I asked a young guy if he could lend me his phone so that I could use my SIM card in it. He let me use his phone with HIS card in it, and when that didn’t work, lent me his phone card for the public phone and when THAT didn’t work, he gave me some money to try calling from the public phone. I didn’t get to speak to Max, but I was touched by this guy.

Year 2000: My second attempt to break up with T. He jumped about 10 metres into the basement carpark at my parents’ place. I called the ambulance and sent him to the hospital. My father drove with me to the hospital and although he never interefered with my love life, he said ‘OK, this is enough with this guy’.

When T recovered, he came to my house to return the money I had paid for his hospital bill. I didn’t want to meet him so my brother went down to meet him and I suspect would have beat him up if I hadn’t stopped him. No matter what, blood is still thicker than water and family will always be family.

There’ll be more but that’s all for now.

I always offer to share my umbrella with people waiting at the traffic light. I try to give loose change to street buskers. Let us remember that sometimes the little things we do can make a big difference in someone else’s life.

I was flipping through a bridal magazine (perks of the job!) and it made me realise that we’ve been married 10 months. Yes, I know that April 1 is approaching and we’ve already booked a short getaway to commemorate the occasion, but seeing all the brides posing and sensing all the kanchiong-ness made me feel that our wedding seemed like such a long time ago.

Last year this time, we were still deciding how many people to invite. Such a long time ago since I was bugging my parents to give me their guest lists. Since I walked into each shop at Tanjong Pagar looking for a 2nd hand gown since my mother insisted I had to have a ‘real’ wedding gown.

I guess I could have been categorised under the ‘Bochup bride’ group (I didn’t even want car decoration but chief bridesmaid Alisa insisted I had to have it. I remember her saying ‘Please la! If you want to save money, I’ll pay for you la!’ Haha.

I wanted things to go smoothly, but I didn’t want to be anal about things. I knew we just wanted to have a good time and we didn’t want the wedding to be typical (wedding dinner in hotel, powerpoint presentation, groom singing to wife, saboing by friends, guest book that people just scribble their names and everybody writes ‘congratulations!’… yawn). AND we wanted to cut down on unnecessary expenditure.

I’m happy to say that we succeeded in doing it our way. I’m glad I made Max do nonsense like sign a marriage contract (it states that if I have a back/neck/headache, it allows me to escape his manly desires and if he bullies me, my parents will kill him)

I’m damn happy we chose for me to arrive in style on a yacht and to have our solemnisation done on the jetty. I’m glad we didn’t have to waste time thinking of a cost effective gift for guests and waste the money in purchasing those gifts because half the people would have left them there anyway. I’m glad we spent the money on cute little heart shaped cakes for the reception.

I’m glad we opted for little things like asking guests to throw rice in our path for fertility (1. we’re still not pregnant, 2. we asked them to throw in our path on in our air but still we had paddy fields in our hair). I’m glad we asked friends and family to help out (even though my videographer uncle still hasn’t given me the disc of our wedding day). My sister took wonderful pictures and here they are for those of you who have not seen them: http://geocities.com/adoranmax/

So even after all the fanfare is over, after the bouquet has been thrown (who caught it, by the way? I remember I promised it to a few people hehe), after the gowns have been returned to the bridal shop and the red carpet cleared, after setting up home and fighting over housework, I’m still in love with the same guy. If I had to do it all over again, maybe he won’t choose me, seeing what a monster I can morph into, but I would still choose Max.

So just for the record, I said "I do" on 1st April 2006, and I STILL do

Barely a week after she returns from Bangkok’s shopping spree, shopping queen strikes again. This time, it’s a rather significant purchase.

That’s right, Max and I bought a flat Now all we have to do is wait for our appointment with HDB and wait for our keys. And starve for the next 6 months while we pay for the flat, reno and furniture (lucky I work at IKEA)

I was excited even before going to view it cos it’s oen of those lovely Tiong Bahru short short flats. The 4-storey kind with the circular staircase on the outside. I thought they were out of our league so when I saw the ad for it, I called the agent immediately.

When we went to see it, I was nervous. What if it turned out to be yet another horrible place? But we went in and everything was wonderful. Went back with dad the next day during lunch to see it again, and we signed the papers yesterday night. Mum and dad like it too.

It’s so lovely. Big place. 88sqm! (and block 28… HUAT AH!) Big living room, lovely kitchen, wall-to-wall windows (for all windows!). 2 big bedrooms. I think the master bedroom is about the size of my current living room. I’d describe the layout as a very ’smart’ one. Well, we’ve seen flats with bedrooms in kitchens… so…

Anyway, it’s in a very quaint area, convenient location It’s the Tiong Bahru flat man! It’s the kind of flat I’ve wanted since before I even got married!

So it’s bye bye $283,800 but it’s a good investment

We’re happy. Finally found our dream home. What can I say but YAY!!!!!!!!! Pictures soon.

Disclaimer against disclaimer: I don’t mean for my disclaimer comments to sound rude but this is a very big thing for us, and I really don’t think people can understand the exact situation we’ve been through unless they’ve been through it. It’s buying a HOME for goodness’ sake. Give us some credit; we’ve had alot of thought about it. So please, let not the first words of your fingers be ‘wah so expensive ah?’.

Disclaimer: I’m going to delete any comments about ‘wah you pay so much ah?’ unless:

1. You have been or are in the situation of looking for a flat so you know how the market prices are (i.e. if you don’t need to buy a home like if your parents are kind enough to let you and your significant other live with them, or you just don’t need to move out, then please don’t tell me how much money $283800 is because I already know ok?)

2. You know the pain and demoralisation of seeing horrible flat after horrible flat (i.e. if you bought the first house that you saw, you didn’t go through the process of seeing more than 10 flats, then please don’t tell me you know how it feels cos you were damn lucky to only have seen one flat)

3. You bought a similar flat (remember, it’s Tiong Bahru, and it’s the wonderfully cool short short 4-story walk up flats, and it’s 88sqm) at a much cheaper price (i.e. if you got a bigger flat at Tuas or JB or a smaller flat at Tanjong Pagar at half the price, cos it’s really not comparing apple to apple ok?)

And also say things like ‘Bedok/Tampines/Changi/Corporation Road/Jurong West/JB’ is cheaper ok? Give me some credit, we would have done our homework and we know how much more we’re spending just to live rather centrally. Max works in Jurong East and I will work in Tampines soon so we’d like a midpoint, please, thank you very much.

And don’t say irritating kiam pa things like ‘wah you move house just because of your work ah?’. I happen to like my job. Max also kinda finds his ok. And when I lived at Bedok and have to travel to Jurong East for work every day, I never saw sunlight. So I don’t want that again.

And anyway, it’s my $283,800, not yours. So shut it. OK? Thank you.

Wah. I have to say this: Girls, if you intend to shop, please go with a fellow shopaholic gal pal. Guys, if you think Bangkok is going to be a romantic place and you’ll spend plenty of time in the hotel with your significant other, you are sorely mistaken. The only form of workout you’re going to get is carrying your girlfriend’s shopping bags.

For all you Bangkok virgins, what have you been doing with your lives?! I mean seriously, you think Bugis Village/Tampines Mall/Taka/Parkway shopping is good? You could not be more wrong.

You think I bluff, I give you example. Think the gold satin tops that Forever 21 sell. How much do think they will sell it at? I tell you. $59. Minimum. How much I bought mine in Bangkok? 300 baht. Agar-agar = $12. Not that it’s bestest quality but come on la. $12 you want to make it family heirloom is it?

Chatuchak, or Jatujak, or however you want to spell it, is shopping paradise. Imagine 6 football fields worth of little shops ala Bugis Village, at 50% of the price.

Then there’s MBK (mak boon krong), Siam Paragon (bra paradise), Central World (which should be open soon with plenty of shops), plenty of wholesale centres…..

You will walk till your legs ache but so what? Foot massage only 250 baht! 10 bucks! For 1 hour, and it’s shiok, not painful like the ones you get here.

Flight on Jetstar: $169

Leave SG on Fri 1245, arrive BKK 1400 hrs

Leave Bangkok on Sun 1945, arrive SG 2310hrs

Hotel: $78 per person for 2 nights (twin share).

Baiyoke Suite. 3-star.Not the most happening hotel but decent enough if you just want a place to sleep. Breakfast is included and it’s damn shiok. Breakfast is served on the 43rd floor. Location is fantastic. Right downstairs is an eternal pasar malam. Across the street is Platinium Centre, where there are wholesale shops (read: buy at EVEN cheaper prices)

Shopping: Bring however much you think you would need. I spent about $500 on shopping, food, taxi fare. Most taxi rides are about 100baht. Forget about the train (even though the BTS system is good). For the same price, you can take a taxi, so why not? Remember to insist the cabbies turn on their meters.

Makan is cheap and good. The shopping centres have plenty of food courts. If you dare, the roadside stalls are so cheap, you’d feel guilty. 35 baht ($1.20!!) for a bowl of wan tan mee.

What are you waiting for? Grab a friend and go!