Confessions of a Drama Mama

I thought I would have no more tests after leaving school. But this morning I took another one.

We’ve had the pregnancy test kit at home for a week or so and finally decided to use it this morning.

Do you notice that there are many different kinds of women around? I mean, it’s weird since we’re all XYs, but yet so different. So here are my observations.

*DISCLAIMER: as with all other posts, this one is not meant to cause anyone any harm. If you think you will be insulted then don’t read. If you want to read, then feel insulted, then don’t leave a rude comment. I asked you not to read.

All Blacks

Usually holds a junior position in a bank.Wears sharp black suits with sharp black heels and has rebonded, dyed (brown) hair.

Commercial Break

Usually works in Advertising, needs/feels the need to dress funky. Always looks around to see if people are looking then looks back with the ‘what you looking at?’ look

Can’t Be Bothered

Don’t pluck eyebrows (or armpits), don’t put on make up, don’t bother matching clothes or may wear frumpy suits with flat open toe shoes. Usually dressed in t-shirt and bermudas with sandals over the weekend, showing off their non-shaved legs.

Most likely candidate to have tissue chope-ing trait.

The Cheenas

With rebonded and dyed (gold) hair. Usually in late teens to late 20s. Queens of SMS, and the mobile phone. They’re on it all the time. If they’re on the train, they need to call some guy to teh at them with bo-liao topics. Common conversation (usually held while speaker is holding on to phone and looking down, smiling to the ground):

"What are you doing now?"

"Are you thinking of me?"

"I’m on the way home already la"

" Now Kembangan.  Bedok already. Reaching Simei"

The Minahs

Usually with young husband (smoking and dazed) and young baby (or 2). Heavily made up with very thin eyebrows and tight clothing.

Oh So Ah Soh

They clip out NTUC coupons from the newspapers and collect Shop and Save stickers. They also won’t be shy to ask you if you want your stickers cos if you don’t, they’d like to have them, thank you.

They will also talk loudly in buses/trains and yell out to their relatives that there’s a seat next to them. Will probably put wet marketing bags on the seat next to them on the MRT. Most likely candidate for flabby arms and BO.

Tonned and Tanned

They spend their time in the gym, or at East Coast beach windsurfing. They’ve got gold streaks in their hair, they are toned and tanned

The Lao Hiaos

They put on make up (or even just eye liner) for gym. They’ll put on low cut singlets matched with capri pants and open toe heels to show their long painted toenails.

Sugar Sweet

Actually I wanted to name this category "sickeningly sweet" but it’s not such a nice objective la. Even though sometimes these girls are so sweet my hair stands, but they’re usually very nice people.

So these are the girls that will have a fringe, tie a ponytail with a bit of loose hair falling on the sides, they’re small and fragile, talk softly, like baby pink, and adore Precious Moments dolls.

Comparatives

Everything that’s happened to you has happened to them and even more. If you strike 4D third prize, they must have striked 1st prize. If you fell down and broke one bone, they would have broken 2 before. If you had a 20cent discount at the vegetable store, they would have gotten 30cents. Favourite word "Hng!" with the nose in the air.

Yes, My Love

Those who obey every single word that comes out of the mouths of their significant others. AKA "the subservient wife". They have no minds of their own, everything the husband says is the law.

Mummy Knows Best

Those who live their lives for their children. They know their kids’ tuition schedules, piano classes, ballet sessions, swimming lessons all by heart. They are likely to call home on the way home from work to ask Ah Boy if he has finished his homework. Be prepared to hear "Sorry, I cannot make it on Sunday, my daughter has swimming lesson".

The HR Manager

Thinks that throwing a jacket (often ill-fitted) over anything makes it smart. Usually wears open toe shoes with stockings. Long straight hair, never changes hairstyle, always smiling at nothing (sometimes the floor) when walking

ACBC

"Act cute bueh cute". Puts on kiddy voice and pretends she’s forever 12. Acts cute with everyone.

I remember being 20 and going to Genting with T (ex boyfriend la). Two things I remember from that trip.

1. We were so broke then that we had to share the room with 2 other people, who were not even a couple.

2. I remember looking with envy at another girl from the group (who only shared her room with one other person) as she slotted her coins in the casino absent-mindedly at the jackpot machine, and again betting without thinking at the roulette table. I held on to my little bucket of coins and spent very wisely. Unfortunately, I also lost all my money.

With J, we wiped out our savings for a 3D2N trip to Bangkok.

I told myself that I would never go on another trip and be broke like that. I’m happy to say that since then, I’ve had better trips.

With my family, we always stayed in ‘real’ hotels. Not that we were rich but when I was growing up, the only way of booking trips was through travel agents (no internet mah) and they usually give you 4 star hotels on average.

With Max, I’ve learnt that non 4 star hotels can be good as well. So we stay in ok places, and eat whatever we want - mostly at roadside stalls cos that’s where you get the best food! But also in restaurants if the food looks good.

I’m happy that now we look at prices because we don’t want to spend more than we need to, and not because we can’t afford to. Know what I mean or not?

But this Paris trip (oh ya, I forgot to report - we’re going to Paris in June) has suddenly made me feel like the young girl holding a small bucket of coins in Genting once again. Can’t help it la, Paris is so bloody expensive, and we’ll be there for almost 2 weeks, so no choice, have to be a Euro Cheapo.

Heck, it’s just a hotel, just a place you put your luggage and sleep for the night and shower and do what married couples do. What’s important is that we get to see Paris, right?

Soon, soon. Bonjour, Paris!

Boy George’s had his share of the crying game, and I know all there isto know about the CC game.

I don’t understand why some people feel they have to keep the whole world in CC whenever they write to me to ask for a favour or ask me to do something. They write to me, and CC their boss and my boss. Why?

Do you really need to show your boss you are working? Do you really need to write to my boss to make sure that I’m working? Can I be treated as a responsible adult and can you give me the benefit of the doubt that I will do my job?

Can?

Lately there’s been some talk about how people pretend to sleep on the mrt trains to avoid giving up their seat to preggies or oldies. Here’s my three cents worth:

I remember when I was about 10, I stood up for an old lady in a bus and when the bus jerked, she held on to my hand to prevent me from falling. If it had been a very violent jerk then her holding on would have caused some little bones to break, but since it was not the case, it was quite a nice heartwarming moment.

I think it was from then that I learnt that one does not need to make a big show of ‘volunteerism’ by an annual visit to an old folks’ home. Little daily random acts of kindness will really make your day.

I generally tend to give up my seat in trains. But it’s a sensitive situation - sometimes you have to take a moment to consider if the person is old enough. I’m not saying that very old = can give up seat for. But if it’s like 50-60ish and still healthyish, they might feel offended/insulted if you offer your seat to them, no?

But what really cheeses me off is when I stand up, offer the seat to someone, he declines, and in the next two seconds, another ass claims my ex-seat. I kind of feel that it should revert to being MY property, and not public property until I formally let go of it. Cos I only ‘gave’ it away to an intended party, I didn’t publicly announce that I was no longer in need of the seat, right?

But I usually try not to hesitate too much. Just stand up, offer the seat, and if they take it and don’t say thank you, don’t sweat it. You gave it up, so just don’t expect anything in return. You didn’t give it up to feel good about yourself, you gave it up for someone else’s comfort.

But sometimes I do fake it. Sometimes I try to catch a nap on the train. Sometimes I really am tired or I just want to rest my eyes. Sometimes my heels are really unkind, or I’ve been wiped out from a kickboxing class. Sometimes I have heavy bags. Sometimes my back hurts. Sometimes I really do just want to sit down.

Do we really have to justfiy our tired feet and aching backs? People (usually those who are standing) tend to look at young healthy fit individuals with disdain if they remain seated when old aunties and uncles board the train. Doesn’t matter that I also pay to take the train. Doesn’t matter that the aunties and uncles are noisy and causing disturbance to everyone else in the carriage.

But most times I force myself to stand up. My feet may be killing me but I guess the auntie’s knees must hurt more la. Is this considered paying it forward? I mean, I’m not doing it to get anything in return but it sure would be nice if others gave their seats to me if they saw I was carrying another lifeform. But, knowing Singaporeans, you can never know.

No, you’re not going to hear the patter of little feet in our house any time soon.

I was just thinking. Every New Year’s Eve, we think about all the big things that we’re going to do for the coming year - We want to lose 10kg, we want to eat healthy, we want to exercise 5 times a week, we want to be more productive bla bla bla. How many of these resolutions do we actually keep?

I have the same ones every year - I will exercise more. I will grow my hair (I always keep it to a certain length and then think ‘it’s boring’ and do something very stupid to it). I will sleep aerly and wake up early. I will exercise more.

At this age, I think we shouldn’t be thinking so big. I mean, yeah they are GOOD resolutions but perhaps we should be cutting ourselves a bit more slack. Let’s think of simpler, but still important things, so that we can actually stick to these resolutions and feel good about ourselves at the end of the year.

So, 1 week into the new year (see, already cutting myself some slack!), I’ve decided I want to do the following:

- Floss my teeth every night properly. Like between all my teeth and all the way to the gum and all that. Not like chin chye chin chye anyhow anyhow.

- Change my toothbrush once every 3 months

- Be happier with my body (come on, it’s not hideous)

- But still exercise agar-agar twice a week (which is what my gym package allows anyway) - oh a tip here. Don’t say you’ll jog all the time cos it’s boring as hell, and don’t say you’ll do 100 sit-ups every night cos you’ll stop after a week. Find something you like. I liked aqua aerobics before, I’ve been re-acquainted with kickboxing, now I’m enjoying bellydancing. You won’t feel it’s exercise cos it’s so much fun

- Go home on time. Yes I love my job but it will never be completed in a day, and my husband is more important to me. And leaving on the dot does not make me a bad employee

- Be nicer to the ones I love. Why is it that we always ‘give face’ to people we deem as ‘important’, but yet are less patient with the ones that love us?

How about some easy ones for those who don’t know where to start?

1. Drink 2 litres of water a day. Plain unflavoured water. Coffee does not count.

2. Eat your greens. No need to go full fledged vegetarian, but once in a while, just order 2 veg, 1 meat for lunch instead of the other way around

3. Whenever the weather is nice, or if you’re wearing comfy shoes, why not stop one bus stop earlier than your stop so that you can have a nice walk home?

4. Start being nice by donating your loose change (no need to put all your fifties) to flaggers