Confessions of a Drama Mama

The trouble with girls is that when they love, the love wholeheartedly, right? But the problem is, as we grow older, we have the experience of having been with more men, and having gone through more hurt (OK, who can say they’ve had a good break up?) makes us stronger and wiser, right? So that’s the decision we have to make - do we be stupid again and throw ourselves heart and soul into our new relationship, or do we take baby steps and be wary of everything before plunging in?

With ex-es like mine, you can’t be too safe… Contestant #1 left me for a girl whose bra size was double of mine. Contestant #2 was a psycho commando Contestant #3 drank beer like water and had the beer belly to prove it but it’s Contestant #4 that’s really worth a mention. Ready?… Oh you’re going to need a comfy chair for this one.

At the start he was the usual sweet caring boyfriend. Then fast forward 3 or 4 years. He proposed on Christmas day. First thing that came to my mind was that the ring was sooooo bloody ugly. I thought if a guy knew me well enough, he’d know that oval shaped diamond rings were certainly not ME, ya know? So the proposal itself was OK la. He got down on one knee at Pasta Fresca at East Coast. Nice place la. People clapped and all. Rather drama. But since I’m Queen of Drama Mamas, there’s GOT to be more to this story, right? Sure there is.

In January I went to Perth for studies. I bought a nice wedding gown, tube top with flowers, kind of the kind of thing you’d wear for a simple garden party. So I called him and told him about it and he said "Can you get a refund?". So I thought what the hell. What kind of sick joke is this? Turned out that he had ‘found someone else’. May I remind you that he proposed in December

So of course I was devastated. I remember hugging the gown and squating against a lamppost crying (I live up to my drama mama name don’t I?). I think I can even remember which lamppost.

But looking back, I think I was relieved more than anything. It’s not a case of sour grapes, no. But I just couldn’t imagine having a life with him and I guess it’s just as well you know? Why did I say yes to the proposal then? You try saying no to someone kneeling in front of you with a (ugly) ring. Precisely my point.

But does my story end here? Come on, give me more credit as Drama Mama can? So Mr Lousy and I had a car. I paid for the deposit (says alot about his financial situation) and the car was in my name so after we broke up, I was so stupid to say that he could keep the car and continue paying the installments every month. But did he? Ha, it wouldn’t live up to my drama life. Of course he didn’t. So every month for about 2 years I got a red letter from Hong Leong Bank reminding ME as the registered owner to pay up.

He didn’t pay of course, despite my calls. And the bank of course wasn’t interested in our broken relationship. Ultimately the bank repossessed the car and sold it off but we still had to pay the shortfall of about $11k. At first I would call him and tell him to pay the monthly payments (of the shortfall) and he would pay.

Then he cut his phone off, and I did the lowest thing any girl would. I called his mother and told her the story. Whether her shock was genuine or not, I would never know. But it worked - I’d call her, she’d pass the message to him and it was like that every month.

So finally the car’s been paid off (but can I apply for credit cards? Of course not, with my "bad credit history") but how about my deposit? It must have been $5k? Something like that. Will I ever get it back? Come on. Do you think? So I take it as the price I had to pay to learn the hard way.

You haven’t heard the best part.

Best part #1: he’s a police officer.

Best part #1(a): he’s with the CID department (what excellent people we choose as our law enforcers eh?)

Best part #2: I found out that there was no third party. …. and that *I* was the third party all along. Oh yes. But the strange thing was that I did stay with him for a while, and my things were all over the room, so why didn’t his girlfriend know? A few drama friends and I realised that the girl was prob studying overseas during that time and I was the stand in. Why he ever proposed, I would never knew.

So now do I love Max? Of course I do. Did I plunge into this relationship? I don’t know, it’s hard to say. I think we had a good opportunity to get to know each other before we actually met. So I guess we plunged but we did it knowing what we were in for. Are we still getting married? Yes of course! I think you will know you’ve found the right person when you can imagine being with him despite the little fights cos you know the good times will pull you through.

I told him that he was the only one in my heart, a heart that’s been hurt too many times, so la la la la…. don’t funk with my heart…

What’s the connection with bad stuff and Mondays? Do bad things just huddle in a corner and pounce on you on Mondays?

First I woke up late (at 8am… I start work at 9am) because the new mattress pad (bought from IKEA!!!) was soooo comfy. The alarm went off but it really sounded like such a soothing sound that I continued sleeping with a smile on my face. Quite a failure as an alarm, I think. Then rush rush rush, breakfast shake, wash up, choose clothes, shoes, make up, pack Taekwondo things and ran out of the house, jumped into a cab, got to Alexandra Road and the first colleague that talked to me said "sorry, your Bangkok tickets were already sold". O…k… We were supposed to go for another Bangkok trip cos apparently a colleague had won it in a draw and wanted to sell it off. I didn’t know I was part of a bidding process.

Then got to my desk and first thing I realised was that my camera was gone. I don’t know if it’s a good thing it’s not MY camera, but the department’s camera. I didn’t lose it. It was stolen. It was right on my desk on Saturday afternoon at 4pm. But was it there when I came back this morning? No…

And when I called the Security counter, they laughed at me. What, is it my face? Is it my voice? Broccoli stuck in my teeth? What’s so funny about losing a digital camera? Maybe my pea brain cannot understand such intense jokes. Anyway the idiot that took it kindly left me the wires and charger so he/she can’t use the camera either haha. Well, I just heard that such things can be bought from Sim Lim. Damn…

And then I bought my favourite chicken chop rice for lunch from the IKEA restaurant but it came without my favourite veggie. So I didn’t enjoy my lunch at all. I should have taken a shake. I hate it when I crave for something then it turns out lousy.

And because it’s like winter time in the office, I have a sweater on… and somehow there is a STAPLET in the sleeve. What the…

On such a day, I’m worried that I will break a bone or something at Taekwondo tonight :S Everything’s been lousy so far.

I am 27 years old. OK, turning 28 this year. Throughout my life I have been nice and I have also been a bitch. I have been treated well, I have been backstabbed. I have been praised and I have also been publicly put down. But on Monday night, I was truly truly humbled.

It was my third week of Taekwondo lessons and despite faces  looking more familiar and the increasing level of small talk it was hardly like hitting it off with long lost pals. Though it had been many years since I’ve executed a kick and many things seemed unfamiliar (I stopped at 15 and was training under a different "school"), the silly pride in me prevented me from asking too many questions.

I realised that not only did I hardly remember anything from the years I had spent kicking and punching air, I even had trouble remembering some of the basic stretches. Maybe my ‘uncomfortableness’ showed more than I knew because two people stopped their own routines to give me pointers. The overall person in charge of the group had decided from the start to recognise my past years of training and letting me skip all the steps in between so that I didn’t have to start from scratch again.

Some of them even took time off to coach me with the things I needed to know for my ultimate ‘grading test’. Some spent time with me trying to correct some wrong techniques I had.  The occasional person would ask if I was doing OK and give some words of encouragement.

One guy (whom I first thought was rather snobby looking) asked how far along I’d gone with the ‘patterns’ (each grade/belt has a set of steps and movements to follow and we’re graded by them. My fast forward crash course has allowed me to learn 2 a week, with alot of help from a very patient person. The real way is 1 pattern every 3 months) and if I had any trouble remembering them. I said I had downloaded and printed some from the web for reference but wasn’t sure if they were acurate. That’s when he immediately took the book from me and flipped through every single one of the 121 pages of my book to verify each step.

Nobody has given me as much as a hint of a look that said "you’re inflexible, you have a bad memory and your stamina sucks so what makes you so special that you can obtain your black belt so quickly when we took years?" These are people who have seen me 3 times and don’t even know my name.

That’s niceness for you. And that’s why the white belt will always be with me, to serve as a reminder of the importance of the presence of humility in one’s life.

we had a lot of fun. primarily because the photographer could hardly speak English, it was mostly ‘ok mister, look here! mister, you kiss you wife. nose and foreheard can touch or not?’ haha. and then max would repeat whatever he said to me so it was really hard to not laugh rather than smile. what we both didn’t really like was he always asked us to smile the same smile. I’m worried our whole album will be of us baring our teeth. but anyways, we enjoyed it.

more details: it started at 9. by the time I finished my make up and hair, it was 11 (max was incredibly bored with the wait)! we only started taking pics at about 12 and we didn’t really hit it off with the photographer at the start cos he was trying to cover his ass by asking us what kind of stuff we didn’t want and all. I thought it was going to be a whole natural process ya know? so anyway we were quite shy in the beginning. not used to it la. he asked us to do many strange (and sometimes incredibly cheena) things – like holding the heel of my show with one finger and both of us looking at it (what the hell is there to look at! we already decided we wouldn’t take that photo), and connecting our index fingers with each other (what is it? ET phone home? another picture we won’t take…). and what is it with looking at flowers? why??!!

but having said that, being complaint queen and all, we really did start to enjoy once we went out. the weather was wonderful. it rained when I was getting my make up done (it got changed, with hairstyle, each time i changed into a new gown) all the time but when we got out, the weather was brilliant, and only started pouring on the way back. we went to lower pierce reservoir and the art museum – the old SJI. I didn’t want the beach or sentosa and have the album look like a copy and paste version of the majority of Singaporeans ya know?

level of fun-ness: 10

level of tiredness: 10

cheek cramp level: 10

level of weather cooperation: 11 (cats and dogs when we were indoors, stopped when we went out to lower pierce reservoir and the arts museum, and continued to rain on our way back)

number of red ants found in max’s boxer shorts: 1 (and it was a big one. and yes it did bite)

total number of photos taken: 250

total number of photos we’re allowed to choose: 22

number of cheesy poses: 10 maybe?

total number of outfits used: 8

number of pins in adora’s hair: 50

amount of hairspray used: 2 cans maybe?

number of times max had to carry adora: 8?

number of broken bones: 0

so that’s that. photos attached

Back from Bangkok we sure are! Man oh man, where to start? Well overall, the trip was good. The temples were beautiful. Man, the architecture! Everything was so detailed, even the painted ceilings. I wonder how many people had neck cramps and worsened eyesight just by getting those done. At Wat Pho, which housed the biggest reclining Buddha in the world, the feet of Buddha were engraved! Wow… the wonderful work aside, that must have tickled!

In order to increase our spending budget, we decided to stay at a cheaper hotel. The "new wing" which we were promised had a broken toilet bowl, peeling lampshades and stained chairs. It must have been called "the new wing" for perhaps the past 30 years. We were also forced to attend a "compulsory" new year’s eve gala dinner. They gave us some b.s about it being the same in every hotel in Bangkok. Yeah right. I think they may have had the impression I was Max’s Patpong pick-up, thus the bad attitude.

We thought it’d be an experience to pay Patpong a visit. Turned out to be a rather gruesome experience. For me at least. The sad thing was that the girls seemed to have done their respective acts so many times that they were actually yawning during their ‘performances’. It was the most unlikely of places but I found myself praying for these girls, that somehow their stints in these bars would soon be over.

By the way, some guy offered me 500 Baht. At first I was insulted, but then we did some calculations and it seemed like a good rate, considering we could get a reasonable meal for two at 100 Baht.

The night market at Patpong is worth a visit. Prices are relatively lower as compared to MBK and even Chatujak to a certain extent but it seems that vendors are less willing to bargain and slash their prices. I was too proud to accept "the final offer, the best price" and because of that pride, I walked away with my head held high… and no Cartier watch.

The tuk-tuk rides were great fun. Despite the fact that they were terribly life endangering. Tip to future first-time Bangkok goers: Try not to take a tuk-tuk that’s hanging around outside your hotel. The driver will probably want to take you to some gem factory and con you to buy something there. He’ll say that your ride to wherever you want to go will be free but come on, don’t waste your time just to save 20 Baht .. it’s 80 cents. Also, usually older and dirtier tuk-tuks tend to be the more legit ones.

The lady boys… transvestites… you really couldn’t tell. Unless they opened their mouths to speak, you could have been fooled by their perfect boobs, long hair and small waists. Max says that some still have "guy’s butts" though. Wonder if I should be impressed by his observation or worried.

Chatujak, the weekend market, closes at 5pm, again, something that would have been helpful to know before we were on the way there. I went crazy there. Maybe I was driven by desperation of having not bought much stuff. We had split up (more condusive for shopping) and at the time to meet, I was looking for more stores instead of the place to meet Max. Floating market’s a nice experience but only if you have like 5 hours to spare to travel there and back.

I realised that I’m no longer the shopaholic I used to be. And I don’t know if that makes me happy or sad. But all in all it was nice to take a trip together without having to part at the airport